The Promise
by 6cbrilhante
Summary: After Cuddy finds out about House's relapse, she goes to see him. She doesn't know what to do. She just knows what she doesn't want it to be.


_AN: A big THANK YOU to Syd, aka partypantscuddy, who betaed this fic as soon as I sent it to her. This is for you, dear!_

**The Promise**

"You took Vicodin."

It was just like that, plain and simple, the truth came. The look on her face only gave it an even more serious tone, wordlessly stating the gravity of the situation. His lack of answer was an unspoken confirmation, and adding it to the sudden freezing of his entire body she could swear that it was certainly not what he was expecting from such a late visit of hers.

Silence and stillness fell over them for how long? Two minutes? Two hours? It didn't matter. Their eyes spoke for themselves. "You are breaking up with me." House finally stated. For him, it was obvious if he didn't take the pills, they were fine. Otherwise they were broken up. But _that_… he had done it hoping that she would never find out, in order to save their relationship. Come on, it was all he could do! Everybody thought she was dying and, as the supportive boyfriend he was supposed to be, he should be strong for her, holding back his fears and having a hopeful attitude, which were characteristics that he, Gregory House, being the most screwed person in the world, didn't certainly have. Either way, it was a lose-lose situation.

"I don't know what I'm doing." Cuddy answered. Taking a step forward, she raised a hand to his jaw. "I… I don't know what to do." Although she was trying to hide it, she was on the verge of tears, while fear and uncertainty took over her heart. "House…" that night, his name was a bittersweet feeling, said with so much pain and love, these very same feelings that were sorrowfully mixing behind his eyes… those blue eyes that gave color to her life since when, twenty-four, twenty-five years ago? _I love you… I wish I didn't… but I can't help it…_ those words, which were probably the most true and meaningful words that have ever left her lips, have never been so real, at least since the night they were spoken. As the memories of that night assaulted her, a tear fell down her cheek and her hand moved to his chest, right above his heart. She remembered everything very clearly, just like if it had just happened a few hours ago, although it had already been about ten months since a crane fell in Trenton, House bonded with a patient, Hanna, who was suffering exactly the same situation he suffered when the infarction happened, and who ended up dying in his arms. She had broken off her engagement to Lucas the private investigator and fate finally brought her and House, two lost souls that had spent years and years looking for their way to find rest in each other, together. That was probably the most insane choice she had ever made in her life. And the one she regretted the least. Cuddy finally realized the parallel life had just thrown them: when he didn't choose the pills, he chose her; now that he had to choose her, he had to choose the drugs _in order to _choose her. It was a huge paradox.

She remembered how, in the weeks after she lost Joy, she had tried to pursue a relationship with him. That was before Mayfield, before the hallucinations, when he was still a self-assumed bastard (not that he wasn't one anymore, but she had noticed his huge effort to change at least a little bit since he got out of the psychiatric hospital) and was still popping Vicodin like a kid eating candy. By that time, she didn't care about the drugs: she had accepted him as he was, with all his flaws and defects. But that was also before Rachel entered her life. As the responsible mother she had fought for so long to be, there was no way she could let her daughter be around any kind of narcotics. Right now she had to put Rachel above House; somehow she had to put Rachel above herself. After a long time of silence that was starting to freak them out, she finally found her next words.

"If it was just me, you know I'd sink with you and stay with you no matter what, but I can't. I have to put Rachel's well-being and happiness above mine." She said, avoiding his gaze so that he wouldn't notice the tears that were now streaming down her cheeks. She had honestly tried her best not to cry; she needed, as always, to be strong, but the pressure that such a stressful situation was putting on her shoulders was overwhelming her willpower. She didn't want this to be goodbye, though she had to be ready for any outcome, good or bad, that could possibly come out of this. She was ready to fight for their relationship, but she wouldn't do it unless he was willing to cooperate. And, given his current facial expression, she could tell that he would do it, but Gregory House is Gregory House and always will be Gregory House, so she had to hear it from him, she had to get his confirmation. "I know" she continued "that you have tried hard, not only to keep yourself clean, but most of all to be the man I need you to be. And don't you dare to think that I don't appreciate it, I really do. Remember when I told you that I did not want you to change? I meant it, but knowing that, even if I said it, you still wanted to be a better man, it means the world to me." She looked up at him and saw a flash of hope suddenly appearing behind his eyes. Her left hand unconsciously placed itself on his forearm and then she added: "I don't want us to be over, and I'm willing to go through this with you. But I need you to promise me that you'll keep trying hard, because I can't let you to be stoned around Rachel. Hell… I can't let her be around drugs! I'm a mother, House. My daughter has to come first."

"I'm an addict, Cuddy. Relapses happen. When Wilson told me you were dying, I didn't know what to do. I would never be able to come and see you without any kind of help. I didn't really see any other choice than the pills… I'm sorry I disappointed you." House finally spoke. He feared that she would, sooner or later, regret what she was saying right now. They were doctors, they knew there was always a high risk of relapse. Although House wasn't completely sure that Cuddy would remember it clearly when the time it actually mattered would come. As he had once predicted, he would do horrible things to her, just like he had done in the past.

"I know, House" she insisted. "I knew, when I decided to give us a try, that moments like this would happen. Remember when we got together?" she was now even closer to him, and her right hand was now on his shoulder. "When I found you there in the bathroom, I realized that even if I could save you that night, there would come days I wouldn't be able to, and I hoped you would ask me so that I would come and help you. I said it once, and I'll say it again: I know you are screwed up, I know you are always gonna be screwed up. But you are the most incredible man I have ever known, and you are always gonna be the most incredible man I have ever known. Once again, all I need is for you to promise me that you are going to keep trying hard."

"I can't promise you that I won't relapse ever again." Housed wrapped his arms around her tiny waist, in a loving and comfortable embrace. "But you can be pretty damn sure that I'll always try to make you happy. I know I won't succeed all the time, but I love you and I love Rachel. I'm doing whatever it takes to keep both of you with me."

Now it the tears that were falling from Cuddy's eyes were tears of joy and happiness. She was happy that he was willing to do anything to stay with her, she was happy they were definitely having another chance. She tightened her arms around him and, with her foot, in a reassurance she wasn't going to leave him, she closed the door behind her. "I love you too" she replied in a barely audible whisper. And then, she felt the taste of his lips on hers.

"Promise me you'll never leave me." House pleaded.

"As long as you don't tell me to." Cuddy ensured him once again.

That night, their love tasted different. It tasted to a promise. A promise they both knew it was meant never to be broken.


End file.
